The Great Experiment.

There are some experiments that are not worth trying. For example, when I was in my early 20s I happened to make the mistake of consulting a woman's magazine on fashion. Fashion and I are not natural bedfellows. The more I try to look fashionable, the more likely I am to look like I’ve just painted glue on my body and jumped through a wardrobe.

Anyhoos, this magazine advised that if you were looking for an interesting Bianca Jagger type suit for a party, then why not get yourself a pair of plain men's pajamas and dress them up with gold accessories?

Do not do that. Not unless you want to spend the whole party explaining that no, you've not been locked out of your house, and yes the pajamas were intentional.

Granted, in the long run, it wasn't that big a deal. No children or animals were harmed in the experiment. But let's just say, I've tried it out so you don't have to.

Other experiments though are completely worth the risk. When I met Mark, I really really liked the idea of staying single. He was also not so keen on the idea of coupledom. But we liked each other, so figured it was worth the experiment. And it has been.

And maybe because of that, our life together has largely been a sequence of experiments, in that when we like the idea of something, but we’re not sure exactly how it will turn out, we generally approach it with a “Fuck it. It's an experiment,” attitude.

And that is why this Wednesday 16 years ago we arrived in the US, planning (in my mind) to stay for three months only. Once we arrived here though, we recognized that if we stuck to the three months scenario, we’d meet our belongings from the UK travelling across to us on the way back. So then I conceded, six months.

Not too long after that, we conceded again when we bought a house. It had been on sale for ages and nobody wanted to buy it. It had once been a beauty - when it was owned by the founders of one of LA’s most legendary drag bars, but when we happened upon it, it had fallen from grace and was in a bit of disrepair. (If I tell you we found an old crack pipe hidden up the chimney, and bullet casings on the floor of the garage, you get the drift.)

It was the ugliest house in the neighborhood, but you see, it was an experiment.

It took a while to fix it up and then once it was pretty much fixed up, we happened upon Tweddley Manor - a house that had lain empty for four years - and another experiment began.

Over the years we have lived here in the Valley, there have been brilliant times and also totally rough times. Ridiculously funny times and also ridiculously challenging ones. And periodically frankly fucking terrifying ones too.

But as we sat round our pizza-laden table on Wednesday night celebrating our America-versary, all four of us agreed that we wouldn't have it any other way.

Fergus - who probably had the toughest time settling here, arriving just before he turned 6 - said he thought it was a good reminder to not be afraid to try things - even, as he said, ‘from the point of view of a naturally reluctant person.’ Lachlan pointed out that if we hadn't come to America, nobody would have adopted Arthur. I said we probably wouldn't have had chickens or bees either. And Mark, looking mischievously wistful said, if he'd never taken on that first experiment, he might have had a quiet life, living on his own with motorbikes and freedom and single slices of pizza from the Costco every night for his dinner.

And we all laughed as he's the one who so unabashedly loves the setup of Tweddley Manor and all it entails.

It was good to be sitting round a table laughing and remembering how we got to this place we call ‘now.’ And good to remind ourselves how much we love now, even though it's not by any means settled.

America was set up as a great social experiment, an experiment that is still ongoing. At the moment, it's dealing with some stuff that's pretty intense.

There's a lot of fear. And too much lunacy. And too much reporting of the lunacy. Too often these days, I find myself swayed by it. I get caught up in the ‘what if?”

So I have to remind myself that me and The Unknown are really pals. That I don't need to know how things will definitely work out. I just need to go with my gut. With what I know to be right. And not to get too freaked out by the scary stuff, because things tend to work out alright in the end.

Apart from wearing men's pajamas to a party. That never works well out in the end. Not unless you're a man and the dress code is pajamas and the party is a sleepover.

It is OK to not know the future. And OK to not trust anyone who tells you they definitely do. It's not just fine but completely reasonable to not have all the answers to prospective problems that haven't happened yet, because, well because they haven't actually happened yet.

You see, life is a grand experiment and as with all experiments, there are times that you do all you can, and times that you just have to sit and wait.

And in the times you're waiting, there's nothing to stop you ordering some fantastic pizza and celebrating how much you've grown.

Till next week,

Lynn xo

Available on Amazon: (US, UK, AUS, CA).

The Audiobook version is also available on Apple Books and Audible.

Learn more about Lynn’s Story work at YouTellYours.com

Notes From The Valley Volume 2 coming soon.